They say time flies… and they aren’t kidding!
I still feel like we just brought our sweet girl home and here she is all chubby faced and two months old already! I am amazed at how much she has changed in such a short time and how we’ve all adjusted to being a family of five (because the dogs are our first babies of course).
how she’s changed.
Ellie is honestly changing every day. She now has these chubby cheeks and adorable leg rolls! I packed up her newborn clothes the other day which was so bittersweet. Sad to be packing away such cute things and wanting to keep her tiny but also happy that she’s flourishing and growing so strong! She’s now in all 0-3 month clothing and can even wear a few of her 3 month onesies! We had to make a quick trip to the Pediatric office this month because our girl was just not herself for a few days and developed a pretty ugly looking rash. She weighed in at 10lbs 7oz! I wanted to rule out the rash being a factor in her fussiness and wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing something, so I took her in… it ended up being baby acne/a heat rash. Which has kind of come and gone throughout this month. Couldn’t pin point her fussiness. The Pediatrician said she looked perfect but maybe just wanted to be held by Mom a little more and that is ok. However, she continued to not be herself for a couple more days. Started almost completely refusing formula bottles but drinking a full 3 ounces of breastmilk and then getting mad when we would give her the formula bottle. Spitting up much more after drinking an ounce of formula which I started to feel like I was force feeding her. So we made some changes. BYE BYE FORMULA! Our girl is solely on breastmilk now and happy as can be about it. She’s a completely different baby. I am not for or against either formula or breastmilk to be honest. FED IS BEST! My reason for breastfeeding in the first place was just to experience it. Our girl just wasn’t tolerating the formula very well, or she’s just high maintenance and knows what she wants… we’ve yet to decide which one it is. Other than that visit to the pediatrician’s she’s doing great! Cooing more and more every day. She loves to smile and loves to stare at her mama. Like seriously, stare, it’s creepy sometimes… I truly wonder what she could be looking at for so long. She’s still loving the farm play mat and loves when dad reads to her and sings to her too. She’s constantly looking at the sun shining through the windows in every room we take her in. We’ve learned that couch naps are her absolute favorite and she’s a fan of her puppy brothers kisses even though we like to keep those at a minimum.
but let’s talk about sleep.
Up until about a week ago we were still wondering if we would ever know what sleep was again. We switched up some of our “routine” kind of let some things go, kept some things the same and added a couple others. We started somewhat of a “quiet time” in the house in the evening when she gets her bed time bottle and I let her take her last couch nap while Brian and I catch up on some shows. Once she wakes up I give her a nice warm bottle with an extra half an ounce in it and swaddle her in a Swaddle Up from Love To Dream - we have the Original one that we are using now and it’s nice and lightweight so she doesn’t get too warm when she’s sleeping because girlfriend is a hot box when she sleeps. Everyone kept telling us we needed to swaddle her to get her to sleep, but from day one she hated being swaddled. While in my belly, every ultrasound we had she had her hands up by her face at all times. So traditional swaddling just didn’t work for her. With this swaddle she’s able to keep her arms up like she likes to sleep and even bring her arms in to suck on her hands to soothe herself. Ever since using this swaddle she’s only been getting up once or twice a night! LIFE CHANGING!
how we are adjusting and how recovery is going.
Adjusting has been a challenge for sure and just when I was starting to feel like we were getting a routine down… Brian had to go back to work. He was able to be off for a full 2 months with us and looking back at the last 2 months and having my first 24 hour shift by myself with her, we miss the crap out of him! But, just another adjustment that we will be making and figuring out getting into a groove. Brian going back to work meant my maternity leave was truly over as well. I am back to work with a full end of Fall and Winter booked with sessions! One of my biggest fears was slowing down with work because I had invested so much over the last 2.5 years with my business. It’s truly become my little baby. Although I will be cutting the amount of sessions I take on a monthly basis in half, I am super excited to get back at it and fill my calendar again.
Recovery is getting easier. Physically my incision is all good and I am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight (thank you breastfeeding) however, my body is so different then it was before pregnancy. That, along with hormones is so crazy to accept and deal with. Half of me loves my post pregnancy body and is like “yeah, this body grew a freaking tiny human” the other half of me is like “can I go back to that time where I thought I was “fat” or naw?” - Body positivity is something I have always struggled with. Struggled to be skinnier or more toned or whatever really. So, it’s a challenge, BUT. My new goal is to love the skin I am in. Whatever that looks like, as long as I am healthy… I want to learn to appreciate this mama body and all that it has done and can do. Like providing food for our girl. It truly is amazing what women’s bodies can do and can go through. At my six week post op appointment I went in thinking I would be cleared to start up boxing again and get back to the gym… but, unfortunately, I was only cleared for “light jogging, walking and light weights” so that was pretty disappointing. They said to give it a few more weeks before I do anything with high intensity. So light jogging and walking it is!
Like I said in last month’s post, I could go on and on about recovery and all the things I felt/feel or never knew that I wish I did. I think it should all be talked about SO much more. My anxiety has been at an all time high and the feeling of panic for no real reason sometimes even comes over me. Which is real hard for me to cope with because I am not really one to panic… or feel that way generally. Everything right now is just a huge, new adjustment. It isn’t all bliss. Everyone expects you to just be on cloud 9 and stay there and although I absolutely LOVE our girl and I am so incredibly grateful for this season of life. I will also be the first one to admit, none of this is as easy as I expected it to be. Each day is getting easier though and I feel like I am heading towards my hormones coming to somewhat of a balance, so that helps a lot!
overall.
Overall we are still adjusting but I think that is just life. Nothing ever stays the same. The only thing truly consistent in life is change. I feel so grateful to have such a beautiful little girl and family overall. I am excited to get back to work because I have missed all my kjk families and so excited for all of the holidays coming up that we finally get to experience with a baby!
